10 Years, 10 Love Lessons
Marriage and relationships teach us more about ourselves than anything else, that’s just my opinion. Having to compromise, sacrifice, adjust who we are, be mindful of our tone, words, etc. can take a lot out of you lol. Not to mention managing the stressors that life brings you, but having to do with someone else. Seeing the good, bad, and ugly and still wanting to be with that person…. See aint that a lot? LOL
My husband and I just reached a decade of being together. It’s still mind blowing because we started off as friends. I was so filled with fear that originally, I kept telling him that I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. So even though I had feelings for him, I wasn’t willing to lose my best friend. But whew child, them feelings got strooong!! So here we are!
I’ve been trying to get him to collab with me for foreverrrrr *side eye* but he finally agreed. We separately wrote down 10 things we learned about ourselves, each other, and/or our marriage thus far.
Brandon
How to deal with my emotions and express my self. (Be Vulnerable). Before being with Brittany, I had a hard time realizing it’s ok to be emotional. I’m a Cancer so we emotional as hell (LoL), but I would always try to hide that. After being with Britt, I now know it’s ok to express myself, cry if I need to get it out, and I’m not scared to let her see me in my most vulnerable state. I actually feel that those moments bring us closet together to be honest.
Learned that I am a provider, willing to do anything to make sure my wife is good. It’s simple, if my wife is good then I’m good. I would work 6 jobs, if need be, to make sure she has all she needs. Me buying her a house was monumental for me, for my “masculinity” if you will. Being a dependable husband is all I set out to be…. period.
Nobody has my back like my wife. (Ride or die). I have a great support system but my wife is the s***. I could say “Hey babe, I’m thinking bout auditioning for Jay Z” which is absurd but I know she would support me 100%. If I’m with it then she with it. There’s no doubt in mind mind that she got my back behind closed doors either. And as a ride or die, man that’s the reason I feel in love with shawty. When we were younger she did something for me that I will never forget. And my baby, my soul, my shawty, my BESTFRIEND did it without hesitation. Man till this day I still think about that and tear up. We weren’t married, no where near marriage, and she stuck her neck out for me. I’ve loved her ever since.
A man is a freak….until he got a woman who wants it ALLLLLL THE TIME. Imma keep this one short LMAOOOO. Brittany is on GO MODE TWENTY-FOUR-SEVEN. Next.
We are one. People want us together. Self explanatory
Brittany
75% of the time our perceptions are different and realizing that has been a game changer. It’s natural to want to be on the same page as your partner, however, it’s not always possible. I just learned within the last year or two, the power of understanding that perception difference is often just that. Many times we argued or I was offended because I was looking at things as black and white or I couldn’t understand why he didnt feel the way I did. But really, he just didn’t see things the way I did. Not because he didn’t want to, but he’s a man, I’m a woman. We’ve had different experiences, childhood traumas, etc. Our thoughts are bound to differ. This has also helped me to see how many disagreements aren’t always about right or wrong, but difference of perception.
Can’t NOBODY check me like Brandon. Listen homeboy will not spare my feelings lol. If I’m wrong, he gone tell me I’m wrong. I will literally go to him and ask if I over reacted. Sometimes I don’t even have to… he will tell me straight up if I’m doing too much or if he thought I should’ve handled something differently. I appreciate that because if anybody should be able to be honest with you out of love, it should be your significant other. I know that he has my best interest at heart.
I’d do anything for him and he’d do anything for me. If you ever want to get me emotional, this is the topic lol. There have been so many times that Brandon has made sure that we were okay as a couple; just so I wouldn’t have to stress or worry about anything and for that, I love him beyond words. I know there were times that he was stressed because he was trying to make things good just for me regardless of how tired or frustrated he was. That’s one of the things that still gives me butterflies after all this time. His ability to make me feel safe and secure. But it’s the same thing for me. I know people say that but when it comes down to it happening, you have to be ready for it.
We can get through anything together. For various reasons, Brandon and I both have had to learn to lean on each other. We both come from worlds where we sometimes had to be self sufficient and figure things out on our own. There were moments as kids where the adults around us relied on us. As a result, we brought that into our relationship and we both had to learn to go to the other for the support rather than trying to deal with things on our own. Through this, I truly feel powerful knowing Brandon has my back, front, side, head, feet, etc. We’ve been through A LOT together, but I never feel hopeless with him. I have my moments, but I know I can get through anything with him.
My BEST FRIEND. Plain and simple, Brandon is my best friend. I know many people tend to say that about their spouse, but no fareal lol, that’s my road dawg. I have so much fun with Brandon, we are so goofy together. This man literally can make me laugh in the middle of crying smh. I enjoy being able to be happy in his presence.
What’s the best relationship advice you have received or wish you knew prior to entering a relationship?